Suing the affair partner: how to prepare, from collecting evidence to property division, if you want to win

Many people who discover a spouse's affair consider an adultery damages lawsuit against the affair partner, whether the partner is a woman (sanggannyeo lawsuit) or a man. If you start such a lawsuit simply thinking that you will win because the other side was at fault, you may actually end up at a disadvantage. We have laid out, in order, what to decide first and what to gather when preparing a lawsuit against the affair partner together with a divorce.

What to decide before suing the affair partner

Even in a marriage where the couple promised to stay together for life, there are more affair partners than you might think who join in a spouse's betrayal. Even after learning of the affair and talking it over with their spouse, some people continue the marriage because of their children, or in the hope that things will be fine if they cover it up.

If you have decided to divorce, the story changes. You need to move with a strategy from the start to properly receive consolation money (damages for emotional distress) from the affair partner and not be pushed back during the divorce. Divorce and lawsuits against the affair partner are disputes with intense emotional clashes, so it is safer to proceed with someone at your side who can help you make decisions.

What to look for when choosing a lawyer for a lawsuit against the affair partner

• Whether the firm has actually handled many affair cases
• Whether things move quickly, from booking a consultation to proceeding with the lawsuit
• Whether the lawyer takes responsibility for the case until it is finished
• Whether the lawyer has a deep understanding of divorce cases

There are two ways to divorce: divorce by agreement and judicial divorce

After learning of an affair, there are two ways to divorce: divorce by agreement and judicial divorce. If the couple agrees, it is a divorce by agreement; if they do not, it becomes a judicial divorce.

A divorce by agreement proceeds by submitting a divorce report to the family court once every matter has been agreed, including custody, parental authority, property, visitation rights and consolation money. It is simpler and finishes faster than a judicial divorce, but it is not possible if even one matter is not agreed. You should also know in advance that some of what is agreed is not legally protected, which makes it hard to respond if your former spouse later goes back on their word.

A judicial divorce is chosen when no agreement can be reached, or when there is a lot of property and it is safer to proceed under legal protection. A ground for divorce set out in the law must be recognized, and the case ends with a court judgment. When an affair is the cause, you can receive consolation money, and since disputes often escalate, it is often advantageous to pursue a judicial divorce together with a lawsuit against the affair partner.

Damages from the affair partner and divorce consolation money are different

When you learn of a spouse's affair, it is natural to feel lost and not know what to do. All the more reason to prepare step by step a lawsuit or a consolation money claim against the affair partner rather than reacting emotionally.

The crime of adultery has been abolished, so there is no longer criminal punishment, but civil liability has not disappeared. Even if you do not divorce right away, an affair is clearly a tort, so you can file a consolation money lawsuit against the affair partner.

A lawsuit against the affair partner is one where you can easily face a counterattack if you are not careful. You need to be prepared to defend yourself when the affair partner strikes back, so it is best to proceed with the help of a lawyer experienced in affair cases.

Evidence decides a lawsuit against the affair partner: how to collect it lawfully

In a consolation money claim or lawsuit against the affair partner, you need sufficient evidence collected lawfully. If you file a lawsuit first without evidence, you may instead be sued by the other side. If the affair partner claims that nothing happened and asks why you sued without any evidence, it is hard to respond.

Any clue showing the affair can be useful.

• KakaoTalk and text messages
• Social media posts that reveal the relationship
• Vehicle dashcam footage
• Footage of entering and leaving lodging facilities
• Card transaction records
• Audio recordings

What matters is that every method must be lawful. Material obtained by secretly following someone and getting caught, by secretly recording a conversation you were not part of, or by forcibly unlocking your spouse's mobile phone is hard to have accepted as evidence, and can instead become grounds for a counterattack in the lawsuit. So that you do not lose a lawsuit against the affair partner for lack of evidence, you need to plan together from the beginning what material to collect, how to collect it, and how to use it in the lawsuit.

Why you should also prepare for property division

One of the most important issues in a divorce is property division. There is no need to fear a dispute over property division. Property division is a legitimate right to have your share of what was built up during the marriage recognized.

To receive a favorable property division, you need to organize all direct and indirect circumstances, including the extent of your economic contribution, your contribution to keeping the household together, the length of the marriage and the reasons for its breakdown, and how the property was formed and grew.

Summary

• Before suing the affair partner, first decide whether to divorce, and choose the path that fits your situation between divorce by agreement and judicial divorce.
• Even though the crime of adultery no longer exists, a civil claim for consolation money against the affair partner can be made regardless of divorce.
• Evidence must always be collected lawfully, and property division materials should be prepared at the same time so that you are not pushed back in either the divorce or the lawsuit against the affair partner.

If you have questions about divorce lawsuits, custody, consolation money, property division or divorce by mediation, you can check them against your own circumstances through consultation.

Last reviewed: 2026-10-19 This article provides general legal information; specific advice is given through consultation.